WOOD REVIEW

Style over substance. Not accommodating to people with allergies. Quite possibly the most over-hyped place in all of Chicago.

Nobody likes a bad review, not the establishment, nor the person writing it. To put it quite simply: it’s not fun for anyone.

But, this place needs to know how it treats its customers and the blatant disregard it has vis-à-vis food intolerances. Let me start with the beginning. The host was nice enough, showed me to a bar seat in this upscale, trendy place.

The prices were high, as were the expectations.

Photo from their website

I get a recommendation from our waiter to try the hamburger, so I ask for a burger with no cheese – as I’m pretty badly lactose intolerant, and warn them as such. Figure that it’s not too complicated to remember. The burger comes back with cheese on it.

This happens so often that I am barely phased by it anymore. Waiters will half-listen to your order and then give you something wrong. But, I understand that they can be busy and errors can occur, so it’s not a big deal. I kindly inform them that they made a mistake and thought that would be the end of it.

Then me and my girlfriend wait..and wait…and wait long enough for her dish to get cold at which point I tell her to start eating because there’s no point in eating soggy noodles. The burger FINALLY comes back after about 30 mins of waiting. Imagine that: 30 mins for one burger with no cheese and fries that cost extra. This is after already waiting 20 minutes for the original burger. If McDonalds gave out their burger in almost an hour, they would have been out of business the year they opened.

They finally come back and apologetically serve me my food once more. So I take a bite out of the second burger and lo and behold, it has cheese, again.

I open up the burger and realize the chef spent 30 minutes not making me a new one, but barely scraping off the cheese from the old one. (After I told them the effect eating cheese would have on me.) The patty was the same and had chunks of cheese cooked into it, fried twice-over. I immediately noticed on my first bite something wasn’t right and asked for the check, telling them I’ll be leaving. (Their “short-cut” caused me intestinal damage and digestive pain later that night.)

To top it off, they had the indecency to charge me for 2 orders of fries (1 of which I didn’t touch because it was the 1st order that they bungled up) and to not refund me my burger, which both times was again, and I can’t stress this enough, NOT what I ordered.

I hope nobody has to experience paying $40 to take one bite out of a burger that makes them vomit. I learned my lesson and felt compelled to warn anyone on the fence about this restaurant.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER eat there.

Hard to digest, both experientially and physically – 0 stars 

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